With a show of hands, how many people want to save money using coupons, shopping for groceries, or unplugging your appliances?
Now, put your hands down and ask yourself: How much have I saved with these methods?
Have you ever considered how coupons are just a way to get you to visit the store and buy things you don’t need, like toilet paper? Are off-brand socks really worth the savings? Is your spouse’s grumbling worth the meaningless volts you save by unplugging things like the television, the microwave, the heart monitor, or the refrigerator?
GOOD NEWS! Today, Rumskin will school you on some serious savings involving what is the most expensive item you’ll ever own…your car!
Unlike your house, you cannot sell your car for more than you bought it for unless you’re a motorhead who likes to restore vehicles. Yes, some guys love this sort of thing, like one of my insurance customers, Big Jimbo, who has twelve cars in his backyard. The reason they’re in his backyard is because they wouldn’t fit in his front yard…or the street…or on the side of his house. You might think this is a bad neighbor to have, but hold the phone…more to come.
Car owners come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone wants a vehicle reflecting their personality. This is why so many cars on the road have dents, scratches, and rust. What kind of owner are you? You might be the guy who needs a new car every other year. You might be the gal who likes the idea of a 2025 Porsche-Shelby-Turbo-Obliterator XXX-E. You might be the luxury-type who gets a huge 5 gallons/mile Yacht-mobile, complete with butler. Or you could be the monster-truck person, who spends $189,000 on a 5-ton pickup with airplane wheels and platinum rims for grocery shopping.
If so, this ditty isn’t for you. This is for the 65+ individual who wants to save money, and I can tell you one of the best, most lucrative ways to save money is your car.
Now you may ask, “Okay, smart guy, what should I buy, where should I get it from, and why are you wearing those awful hounds-tooth socks?”
Good question, and surprisingly sensible answers. The socks are FASHIONABLE you hack, and the answer to saving money on your car is: invest in what you have.
For instance, imagine you’re taking ‘ol Betsy in for annual inspection (your automobile, I mean) and the mechanic comes out shaking his head like he dropped his cell phone into the oil disposal barrel and says, “Bad news, Clem. Your 2011 Ford Focus needs tires, a new axle-joint, rear brakes, and the rocker panels are rusted. $3900 and you’ll need an additional $1500 to replace the rockers by next year. With 120,000 miles, you may want to take off the radiator cap and replace everything underneath.”
(This really happened to me.)
Now for most of you, it’s time for a trip to the car dealer where you meet Dick Slick who’ll tell you about a “cream puff’ an old lady used for church for the past 15 years and only rolled up 90,000 in doing so while maintaining the car in peak condition without ever missing an oil change and ifyoudon’tbuyitnowyou’llneverhaveachancelikethisagain.
-OR-
Consider utilizing some of the brain cells God gave you when you were born.
Think about how today’s new cars average over $45,000. Apiece. Really. AND rethink about the FACT that if $45,000 is the average, there are as many cars costing MORE than that as there are that cost less than that. DUDE.
Forty.
Five.
Thousand.
Dollars.
Plus interest, title, tax, and fees, ‘natch.
Now if you did buy an average new car at $45,000, you’d expect at least ten years of normal use out of it, right? If you finance the bugger for five years at 5%, your car payment would be $850 every month for five years.
Eight.
Hundred.
Fifty.
Dollars.
Every.
Blessed.
Month.
For FIVE blinkin’ years for a new car, and if it lasts for ten years without ANY repairs, that is an average cost of $5100/year. Plus the cost of higher insurance.
Waitaminnit.
How much was repairing Betsy, again? $3500. Four months at about $850, if you will.
Hmmmm. I don’t know about you, but $850 to me is a lot of money. When I entered it into my AI (Short for Artificial Integrity, the thing businesses use to replace honest people with programmed-response automatons) Image Maker, it generated this:
Yeah, lots and lots of money, ugly tie, but nice socks.
Furthermore:
The tires will be new, warrantied for 40,000 - 60,000 miles.
The rear brakes will be good for a long, long time.
The axle-thingie’s lifespan, well, let’s hope for the best.
Rocker panels can be repaired without replacement, and Big Jimbo next door can do body work for rockers and fix other rust problems. Betcha he knows how to do brakes, too.
No interest payments along the way.
The car insurance won’t be higher with a new car added.
Now of course, ol’ Betsy won’t be new, won’t have big fat tires, and the only way she’ll go from 0-60 MPH in seven seconds is if you drive her off a cliff. The old guys at the watering hole will chide you, saying, “There’s no way I’d put that kind of money in a used car,” before leaving for their part-time job they maintain so they can pay $850+ each and every month.
Your cash savings will be substantial, plenty enough to compensate for coupons, overstocked groceries, and hound’s-tooth socks.
